It was so dark. No matter where I turned, no matter how long I had been walking, the sea of darkness would always envelope me. It was cold also. No warmth, nothing. I shivered as I raced around the emptiness, a world of nothing, a world where nothing existed.

"John?" I called out, expecting a reply.

My voice echoed through the vacant space. I was alone. Alone and depressed... I strolled on and on without rest. I tried to find a way out of the obscurity. I tried to find a portal, a gateway to exit this torturous plain of non-existence.

I felt as if I was dead.

"... I am sorry... I truly am..." A soft female voice appeared within the abundant shadow.

"..."

"Is he going to be okay? Please tell me! He saved me!"

"... How can a person with three broken ribs, one broken arm, one broken leg, adding on top of, a concussion on his brain, be okay?" A man's voice, rough and apparently agitated, snapped back. "Not to mention that two of his wings are shattered!"

I felt a cool hand rested on my sweaty forehead. I couldn't see. My eyelids were like lead, heavy and extremely hard to move. I breathed in short, rapid breaths.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

I drifted into a deep slumber.

The next time when I finally opened my eyes, I gazed around frantically, anticipating a blow landing on me again. My eyes were wild as I winced at the undue pain all over my body. As I glanced around, I was in a small room with broken pieces of glass and wood lying across the floor panels. My back was pressing against six pillows, a safety precaution to prevent my wings from being crushed against the wall while I was unconscious. I was sitting on the floor.

Bandages and medicines were wrapped around my chest, my left arm, and my left leg. My wings didn't have anything on them. As I tried to move them, I felt as if someone had landed a sledgehammer on the fragile bones. I screamed.

Hearing my cry, footsteps thumped urgently down the hallway. A few seconds later, Both John and the girl whom I had saved appeared around the doorway. When they saw me awake, relief swashed onto their face.

"Oh God, thank you!" John laughed as he walked into the room to take a look at my wounds.

She stood by the door, looking at me with gratitude in her eyes. I could only stare. There was no emotion in my heart. It was as if... It was as if I was already dead. Just like in the dream.

"How do you feel, Tobieaz?" John smiled as he checked me over. "You're getting better now. Soon, you'll be yourself again."

"How long was I out?" I whispered as I turned my gaze on him.

"For a week. You were in a very bad shape. We both thought that you wouldn't make it, but we're wrong and that's good."

I tried to get up, but I couldn't. The muscles in my body felt like they were torn apart. I grunted with effort. I couldn't move. I couldn't stand. I couldn't flap my wonderful wings. I couldn't do anything!

"Easy now, don't push yourself so hard. You are still not well," the girl at the doorway came in and knelt in front of me. She watched me for a bit until she said: "Thank you."

I was sweating as I looked at John. "Why can't I move? Why?"

The grown man looked puzzled. "Well, you have several broken bones... Of course you can't do anything right now."

"Why can't I move? Why?" My voice was getting louder as panic crawled into my mind. "Why?"

The two of them shared a look with each other, obviously confused about my reaction.

"Tobieaz," John started as he cleared his throat. "You need to calm down."

"I can't calm down!" I yelled, eyes filled with hatred and flame. "I can't! I don't want to stay like this forever! I don't want to stay in this damn world forever! I want out!" I shook with rage as I bellowed. I forced myself to budge. It felt as if thousands of volts of lightening were slamming through my nerves. I gritted my teeth.

"Hold him down!" John said as he gently pushed me back. "Tobieaz, what's wrong with you! Stop this at once! You're hurting yourself!"

The girl whose name that I still didn't know came to help.

"I'm hurting myself? You're damn right I'm hurting myself! I don't even know why I bothered trying to stay alive when I could just jump off a cliff right there and then!" I shrieked as I glared at him.

All three of us struggled for a while until I was completely exhausted. Breathing intensely, I closed my eyes as tears flowed down my cheek. I sobbed as I gave up trying.

"He's just tired that's all. We'll let him have some quiet for a while. Can you bring food to him later on? I have to go out soon," John said to her.

She nodded as both of them shuffled out of the room. I wheezed as I settled down. My watery green eyes were observing the room, as my head was a blank. It was throbbing with ache, but I hardly detected it.

A long dullness flooded into my brain as I glanced straight ahead blankly. Everything was so out of focus... I had this urge of killing myself. I couldn't do anything. With my good arm, I slowly searched for something. Anything. Anything that could ease my misery. Then, I sensed a cool object around my claws. Without even moving my head, I grabbed it and brought it before my eyes.

The razor sharp glass glittered within the mid-morning sunlight as grime floated in the background. It flashed millions of mixed colors, all crystal clear, all so serene. The air was stuffy and hot as I stared at the piece of weapon gloomily, twisting it back and forth in the light.

I lowered my gaze onto my left wrist. Not even thinking, I placed the piece onto my pulse. I drew in a deep breath. My hand was trembling uncontrollably. My lips quivered as sweat beads dripped onto my chest. Before I could end it all, I heard a cry. Suddenly, the glass was slapped out of my right hand and landed somewhere far from my position. It clinked across the area and stopped short.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She scolded at me as she panted. A tray filled with food was resting in the hallway.

I held my head down.

"Why are you even doing this?" She continued her lecture. "Don't you know that life is precious? Why are you throwing it away?"

I didn't have an answer. I closed my eyes.

"Please, Tobieaz, you must not throw your wonderful life away just because people won't accept you! You must understand that!"

Why couldn't she just shut up and leave? I wanted to sleep.

"I've brought you some food. I'll bring it here. Hold on."

I reopened my eyes and saw her retreating back. Her figure was so wonderfully balanced. Nice long legs, attractive hip and slender hands. Lengthy black hair with skinny shoulders... Her white t-shirt with blue jean fitted her body perfectly.

When she lowered to grab the food tray, I said: "I'm not hungry. Take it away."

Sighing with frustration, she mumbled something inaudible for a moment. Then she wheeled around with a dark expression on her face. Glowering, her lips were in a straight line.

"You have to eat! You must keep up your strength!"

Groaning, I clenched my claws together. I could feel them piercing through my skin. I didn't care. "I said I'm not hungry."

"Well, you have no say in this," talking, she made her way back to me.

Sitting beside me, she placed the steaming plates around her.

"What the hell do you care?" I berated her. "You don't know anything about me!"

She gave me a smile and replied: "I know more about you than you know yourself." She scooped some steamed rice onto a spoon and held it in front of my mouth. "Open up."

"I will not be fed by you! I've already said that I will eat nothing, what's the matter with you?" I exploded as my eyes widened. I flinched at the unanticipated pain that surfaced suddenly.

Dumping the rice back into the bowl, she said: "No. The question is, what is the matter with you? You've changed! A week ago, you were so courageous, so full of confidence. You saved me from that Mafia gang! Why are you suddenly degrading yourself to this level? What can you accomplish by committing suicide? What are you trying to do? Gaining some sympathy from others around you? Making their hearts ache along with your suffering?"

I shook my head as I yelled: "Shut up! Shut up, damn it!"

"I will not!" She kept her chin up high. "I'll keep on talking until I get some sense into you! You don't seem to get it, do you? By killing yourself, you will hurt me significantly!"

"Shut up! You don't seem to get it yourself! I don't care if my death with bring you grief and I don't care about John either!" I growled as my claws dug into the ancient wooden floor.

"Liar! You still care about John! Even though that you are hating me right now, but I want you to know that I care about you!" Getting her breaths back, she spoke in an undertone: "I like you, Tobieaz. Okay? It was the first time that anybody is standing up for me."

I looked at her as I tried to squeeze the tears away from my eyes. "You don't get it... You don't get it at all..." I whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't deserve to live on this planet. Everyone despises me. They don't love me. My parents don't even want me anymore. My best friend has deserted me. I'm nearly crippled. Why do I have to tolerate these? Why?"

"Maybe it's your fate to experience these hardships. Maybe these incidents will make you stronger, will make you a even better person than before." She tried to sound logical, but I didn't buy that. Not one bit.

"You are wrong. I don't have to abide these!" I whimpered like a helpless dog. "Let me go... Don't restrain me like this... Can you... Can you get me a knife? Any size, just sharp enough for a deep, clean cut?" I suddenly smiled as I begged her. "Please? Just release me from all this discomfort. Please? I beg you!"